adrienne maree brown

Radical Gratitude Spell

you are a miracle walking

i greet you with wonder

in a world which seeks to own

your joy and your imagination

you have chosen to be free,

every day, as a practice.

i can never know

the struggles you went through to get here,

but i know you have swum upstream

and at times it has been lonely

i want you to know

i honor the choices you made in solitude

and i honor the work you have done to belong

i honor your commitment to that which is larger than yourself

and your journey

to love the particular container of life

that is you

you are enough

your work is enough

you are needed

your work is sacred

you are here

and i am grateful

my shadows too

I’m wondering about all of my shadows
Like when I’m aloof
Removed
Self-conscious
Self-doubting
Judgmental
Heart closed

Is that part of what a shadow is?
The places where our hearts close?

Krishna told me to keep looking for the seed
The underlying roots of every situation – not just the surface issues
And when I walk that spiral path back to the seed
I usually find love
Where I’m hurt
I find love
Where I’m angry
Often love
Where I’m confused

I think my pregnancy hormones
Are telling me something
About love
About shadows
About the sides of my heart softening
And finding so much more compassion
For the parts I don’t want people to see

13 weeks

as a survivor

one of my most utilized coping mechanisms has been trying to control everything around me

my environment, my friends, my colleagues, my house, my body

in fact part of the reason i love yoga and meditation is that they help me be in control

but now, 13 weeks into the deepest surrender i’ve ever known,

i have to let go

there is no other way

wahe guru

finally

I’m still affected by the Kavanaugh hearing
And the fact that they chose him
For that position of power

I couldn’t watch Michael Cohen’s hearing
This week
Because it reminded me too much of

When Kavanaugh sat there and
Pretended he was the victim

Of when that prosecutor
Gently suggested that
Dr. Ford might not recall her own memories

I’m crying now
The tears that I didn’t have space to cry then

Because the news was too loud
And Facebook was too loud
And people at my work were making jokes

Now, on a quiet March morning,
Rain and snow hanging in the sky,
I have a moment to cry

For all the times they didn’t believe us
For the way my stomach grinds when they hold fast to power
For Dr. Ford and her pain
For me and my pain
For Robin and her pain 

I know this will end
I know we are on the path to freedom
But fuck if it doesn’t hurt